Lord of the Ants
by ElenweMorwen
Summary: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completly insane.
1. An Evil Plot

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter One**

**An Evil Plot**

Sam sat at the campfire, staring at the flames. He felt a slight tickle on his foot and looked down. Seeing that it was only an ant he brushed it off. Suddenly an Idea struck him.

Gandalf had had it coming ever he threatened to turn Sam into something "unnatural".


	2. Ants Dance

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter Two**

**Ants Dance**

Gandalf looked around the camp. Aragorn and Legolas had the first watch and everyone else was getting ready to go to sleep. Everything seemed to be normal, so he pulled out his bedroll and joined the others who were preparing to sleep. Crawling to him bedroll, he shifted around until he was comfortable and closed his eyes. He was nearly asleep when his legs started to itch. He scratched it and tried, once again, to fall asleep. His arm then started itching. He tried to ignore it, but soon he itched all over. Cursing under his breath, he crawled out of his bedroll.

Looking down, Gandalf saw swarms of ants covering his robes. He tried to brush them off, but they only latched onto his hand. He began jumping around, swearing in every language known to Middle Earth.

Thinking Gandalf was being attacked, Aragorn and Legolas came running with their weapons at the ready. Legolas looked around the camp, but could see no signs of an enemy.

"What in the name of Manwe are you doing!" Aragorn exclaimed.

By now, nearly all the camp had been awoken by Gandalf's shouting and dancing, which looked like a cross between the Macarena and the Chicken Dance. Merry and Pippin, thinking that Gandalf had invented a new drinking dance, jumped up and started trying to imitate him.

Gimli, who had just woken up and was still groggy, started swinging his axe wildly at everything that moved, thinking that the camp was under attack. Boromir quickly moved away from Gimli's axe to avoid the severing of any limbs and joined Legolas' and Aragorn's efforts to calm the dancing wizard. Frodo and Sam slipped past Gimli's mad attack to the other side of the camp. There they sat in safety, watching the show with great amusement.

Gandalf was still babbling at the top of his lungs. The only word that could be understood was, "ANTS!"


	3. Gandalf and a Thistle

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter Three**

**Gandalf and a Thistle**

Boromir looked incredulously at Gandalf. All this commotion over some tiny insects? He couldn't believe it. He sat down at the edge of the camp and put his head in his hands, muttering. "This Fellowship is going mad. And it has only been two weeks! This will be a very **_long_** journey."

Meanwhile, Aragorn and Legolas were trying, unsuccessfully, to get Gandalf to calm down. Legolas covered his ears, yet again, as Gandalf let out another loud stream of Dwarvish curses. Aragorn _looked_ at Gandalf, hoping that he had misunderstood the wizard.

Gimli let out a yell of rage. "Did you just say my mother was a ------"

"Gimli!" Aragorn exclaimed. "Not in front of the hobbits!"

Gimli lunged at the wizard, his axe at the ready. His leap was cut short by Boromir yanking the axe from his hands. Gimli fell in a rather spectacular and undignified fashion. Legolas turned around so Gimli would not see him laughing and further anger the already irate Dwarf.

Legolas and Boromir were spared Gimli's tirade by Gandalf falling face first into a rather large thistle. Merry and Pippin had gotten under Gandalf's feet while trying to learn his new dance. This calmed Gandalf sufficiently enough to allow Legolas and Aragorn to brush the remaining ants off of Gandalf.

Frodo looked curiously at the scene before him and Sam. Shaking his head slightly, Frodo turned to Sam and said, "I wonder who the culprit is."

Sam turned red and muttered something inaudible.


	4. The Observers

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter Four**

**The Observers**

Saruman sat in Orthanc, carefully filing his nails. As an extremely organized person, everything had to look neat, up to and including his nail.

After finishing this **_important_** task, Saruman went to the palantir of Orthanc. He started waving his newly manicured hand over it in a mystical pattern. As he did so, he said, "Show me the gray wizard."

The palantir cleared and showed Gandalf falling face first into the thistle.

"Excellent," Saruman said. "My plan is working perfectly."

Galadriel stood, looking into her mirror, wondering what it would show. Celeborn stood beside her, staring absentmindedly past the mirror. Galadriel elbowed him sharply.

"Would you pay attention!"

"Sorry, dear," Celeborn replied meekly.

"Since you were **_so_** longing to see the Fellowship's progress, the least you could do would be to remain focused."

Celeborn sighed and refocused his attention on the mirror. And image began to slowly form. Soon Celeborn saw Gandalf doing and extremely undignified dance with two hobbits underfoot, trying to imitate it. A Dwarf was swinging his axe at nothing and a man and two other hobbits were trying to avoid the axe's mad sweeps. Celeborn recognized Aragorn and the Prince of Mirkwood as the two unfortunate beings who were trying to calm Gandalf.

Celeborn looked up at his wife, bewildered. She motioned for him to keep watching. He looked down again to see Gandalf falling into a rather large thistle.

Celeborn looked at Galadriel once again. She returned his gaze, cocked her head slightly, and said, "I believe the Fellowship is going mad."

Celeborn agreed whole heartedly.

Elrond was pacing in his study when he heard Galadriel's voice in his mind.

"Ion-nin, are you absolutely sure that you chose the right members for this Fellowship?"

Elrond sighed wondering what Merry and Pippin had been up to.

"It wasn't just them. It was everyone."

Galadriel sent him the vision she had just seen in her mirror. By the end of the vision, Elrond had his head in his hands and could be heard muttering, "Oh Valar." He was obviously going to need to reassess his daughter's choice for a husband. He would **_not_** have Arwen married to a mad man.

_I realize that this is a lot to have posted at one time, but I am a busy college student. I have classes, homework, band, clarinet lessons, and a job to deal with. I cannot guarantee that updates will come frequently, because the co-author, Aduial, my sister is a busy high school student with Quiz Bowl, band, and her own share of homework. Plus, I am no longer living at home, so this story is being written over phone conversations when we can spare the time. _

_Please don't be afraid to tell us what you think, but no flamers please. I get enough criticism from my English teachers. Constructive criticism is welcome though. Thanks for reading!_

_Elenwe Morwen and Aduial_


	5. The Next Morning

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter Five**

**The Next Morning**

The next morning, everyone was extremely crabby due to a lack of sleep. Not surprisingly, Gandalf was the worst. Being eaten alive would do that to a person.

Gandalf continued to lead the Fellowship, though in a much more aggressive manner. There were many breaks when he would stop to scratch himself all over. He nearly beheaded Pippin when the hobbit told him, "Don't scratch, rub!" Thankfully, Aragorn had been walking close to Gandalf at the time and was able to stop the angry wizard.

Aragorn ventured to offer some _athelas_ to Gandalf for the bites and the large bruise left by the thistle. In reply, Gandalf knocked Aragorn over the head with his staff, knocking him out, leaving Legolas and Boromir to carry the unconscious Ranger.

"Stick close to me, young hobbits," Gimli warned. "Gandalf seems to be in a particularly foul mood today."

"Say that one more time, Master Dwarf," Gandalf said, "and I will drive **_lice_** to inhabit your beard. Then I will permit Legolas to cut it all off."

Gimli pondered for a while, then decided to remain silent. Legolas looked mildly disappointed. His disappointment was short lived, however, as Boromir dumped a still unconscious Aragorn onto the elf's back. Legolas's only consolation was that he knew Elladan and Elrohir would never let Aragorn live this down.

_Sorry this chapter is so short, but Aduial and I can only come up with so much in a space of a few hours. And cell phones only have so many minutes, unfortunately. (sniff) _

_Elladan and Elrohir are Aragorn's foster-brothers, since Aragorn was raised by Lord Elrond, so we assumed that Elladan and Elrohir would treat Aragorn like a sibling, complete with teasing._

_In reference to Galadriel calling Elrond "ion-nin" (my son), Elrond's wife was Galadriel and Celeborn's daughter, meaning that they are his in-laws, so it could be assumed that Galadriel would not be afraid to address Elrond as her son._


	6. Aragorn's Revenge

**Lord of the Ants**

By ElenweMorwen and Aduial

**Time**: After the Fellowship has left Rivendell, but before they reach the Mines of Moria

**Disclaimer**: We own none of these characters, and sadly, never will. They were all created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The only thing we take credit for here, is the plot of this story.

**Summary**: Who knew that one innocent prank could turn Middle Earth upside down? Gandalf develops an intense dislike of ants, Saruman takes all the credit, and Galadriel thinks the Fellowship has gone completely insane.

**Chapter Six**

**Aragorn's Revenge**

Aragorn awoke to find his hands tied. His next thought was, "Why am I being carried like a sack of flour?" He began moving around, only to discover that he was practically tied to Legolas's back.

When Legolas noticed Aragorn's movement, he promptly dropped the Ranger on the ground. The elf immediately informed him that since he had rejoined the land of the living, he could now walk on his own, as everyone else was tired of carrying him. Aragorn knocked his head on the ground and fell unconscious again. Legolas sighed and prepared to pick up the Ranger. Then a mischievous smile crossed his face. He proceeded to empty the contents of a water flask on his friend's prone form. Aragorn sat up, sputtering and clutched the two large goose eggs on his head. Legolas smiled archly at him and walked to catch up with the rest of the Fellowship.

_"Deloth waitho lle ier!"_ Aragorn shouted after the departing elf. Looking back, Legolas replied that Aragorn looked and smelled like a wet dog, causing the Ranger to get to his feet and chase the laughing elf. He didn't get very far, since he managed to trip over his own feet and knock himself out again.

Despite Aragorn's seemingly perpetual clumsiness, Gandalf refused to stop, and kept the group walking until evening. By this time, Legolas and Boromir were tired and sore from carrying an unconscious Ranger for most of the day. So it came as no surprise to anyone when Legolas told Sam that he was **_not_** going to go hunt tonight, so the group would have to make do on cold rations.

During the course of dinner, Sam sat off to the side and was frequently heard muttering "… don't know what when **_wrong!_**" Same was quite please with what had happened to Gandalf, but the chain reactions had not been part of The Plan.

Frodo noticed Sam looking rather upset, so he went over to attempt to figure out what was bothering him.

"It was a simple prank, Mister Frodo!" Sam was very adamant about the fact that it was a prank. "All that was supposed to happen was Gandalf getting bit by ants!" By this time, Frodo was hard pressed not to laugh out loud. He didn't was to hurt his friend, but the entire situation was honestly funny. Who else would think to risk the wrath of a wizard? Well, there was always Merry and Pippin, but that was beside the point.

Dinner was almost over when Aragorn began to stir, finally deciding that his antics were not worth the perpetual headache of being continually knocked unconscious. After being checked for a concussion and it being decided that he didn't have one, (Legolas said he was too hard headed) Aragorn was allowed to eat dinner. Of course, by this time, the hobbits and Gimli had managed to eat most of the food, leaving little for Aragorn. When it was time for bed, Aragorn was still hungry, and grumpy to boot. And since it had been the wizard who knocked him out the first time, all events after could be traced back to Gandalf. And if Aragorn was correct in his thinking, Legolas and Boromir would not be feeling overly fond of Gandalf either. After all, they had been forced to carry him all day. Besides, he and Legolas hadn't played a good prank since they had rigged Elrond's study door to douse the Elven Lord with flour and honey. Unfortunately, there was no honey or flour at hand, but between himself and Legolas, Aragorn was sure that they could come up with something creative. After all, Legolas was a **_Wood-elf_**, and in an area surrounded by trees, some opportunity should present itself.

Elvish Translation

"You are the abomination of your people"

_Sorry it took so long to update! The story is on my college computer, which wasn't hooked up to the internet over the summer, so I couldn't update on that computer. Plus I was taking summer classes and Aduial was working on get the house somewhat clean. I hope to update sooner! Thank you for reading and reviewing! (Please let me know what you think. It helps Aduial and myself know what to put in the story.)_


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